‘She led me on’: How my high school crush broke my heart

Heartbreaks are often brutal. It has landed some people in hospitals. Many strive to identify the flaws in their relationships, working to rectify them and brace themselves for the inevitable end. But like some disasters, heartbreaks cannot always be controlled. It takes you by surprise and hits you when you least expect it.

One of MyJoyOnline’s readers, Benji (not his real name) tells the website about the time in life he got his heart broken. He said that although his subsequent relationships have not always been successful, those other heartbreaks pale in comparison to this one.

Benji narrates:

My worst heartbreak was kind of a rejection. I’m using “kind of” because I believe I was being led on. It happened in high school, specifically during my final year when I was preparing for WASSCE. It was one of those instances where you unexpectedly fall for someone you never thought of romantically.

Her name was Nyamekye (not her real name). I won’t deny she was an attractive girl with a beautiful smile, caring and stood a bit taller than me.

She joined our school in the third term of our second year. Our initial interaction was like that of any other regular friends.

At the time, though, I failed to recognise what made her special. But then everything changed once we hit our final year. We developed an exceptionally strong bond and consequently, we spent a lot of time together.

I felt that I had found my ‘personal person’. I constantly yearned to be in Nyamekye’s company, engaging in conversations with her, and the feeling was mutual. There were times she got angry when I was unavailable to spend time with her.

Despite the considerable distance between our classes, she consistently made the effort to walk to mine. Whenever our schedules aligned, we would sit together during shared classes.

We were inseparable.

To others we were dating and understandably so. Our behaviours and the manner in which we interacted screamed to others “they belonged to each other”. As high schoolers often experience, our peers started teasing us, treating us just like any other pair of schoolmates in love. However, we weren’t dating.

Frankly, the realisation began to dawn on me as well, acknowledging that what existed between us transcended the boundaries of typical friendships. We’d hold hands whenever we were sitting together. When I was feeling sad or having a bad day, she would discreetly slide her hand under the table to hold mine.

Nyamekye always made sure I had eaten and got me snacks whenever she got one for herself. And when we bid each other goodbye after the sunset, I always looked forward to spending time with her the next day – our time together always lingered in my thoughts. She would recommend songs to listen to, love songs especially. If I could choose a song that described our situation then it would be Signs by M.O.

I craved her company so much that the days she missed school due to medical checkups became particularly challenging for me.

If it wasn’t obvious, I fell hard for this girl. That was undeniable and the comforting assurance she exuded made any worry about the future vanish. It seemed like she’d always be there. For me, none of my experiences in high school could hold a candle to this period. It was by far the most amazing moment in my high school life.

As time progressed, I could not resist or deny these feelings. It’s only right I told her and from my point of view, the signs she was giving were positive.

A day before we wrote our Integrated Science WASSCE paper, I decided to tell her how I felt, confident she would feel the same.

Nyamekye took the news positively. While she didn’t explicitly express reciprocal feelings, she was seemingly happy listening to me lay bare my heart and feelings. But things took a turn hours later. We wrote the science paper and when I raised the issue again later that day she tried to deviate from the topic.

I started to sweat there. Suddenly, I’d gone from being extremely confident about our perceived connection to feeling overwhelmingly nervous. Nyamekye then delivered the crushing blow, expressing that she did not share the same feelings and likely never would.

My world fell apart – I was shocked, questioning whether I had stepped into an alternate universe, where the Nyamekye before me was a total stranger.

The pain was so intense we stopped texting. Then, out of the blue, I received a text from her, dripping with anger over something I was completely unaware of. I learnt later that some other guys from school texted her something she did not like.

Nyamekye thought I had given them her number – which I hadn’t, by the way. I was so confused and eventually pissed, I vowed not to speak to her again.

On the day we wrote our last paper, I chose to distance myself from her, deliberately ignoring her presence, despite the pain I found myself in. She was upset with me for the cold shoulder. In our attempt to communicate, what ensued was a heated argument, a bitter altercation, and ultimately, we resorted to blocking each other.

Though we later unblocked each other, things were never the same – our great connection was irreparably damaged. I was hurting because the only girl I liked, did not reciprocate my feelings. Not long after my phone got stolen and I fell into depression.

Thanks to the therapeutic escape provided by the World Cup (football is life haha), I started feeling better. Witnessing Kylian Mbappe’s outstanding performance in the 2018 World Cup played a significant role in lifting my spirits, and it’s precisely why I hold Kyks in such high regard.

Reflecting on this experience, I guess it made me think twice about any new relationship I want to pursue (hehe). Life is unpredictable like that I guess, it has a knack for teaching valuable lessons at every turn.